Dear Matthew
by NancyMay
Summary: Alice goes missing, leaving only a note for Matthew. Probably one of my more batty ideas, for which I apologise!
1. Chapter 1

'Dear Matthew,

This was never meant to happen, and I am sorry.

I'm leaving Ballarat, it's for the best. You are the best, most wonderful man I have ever met but I have to go.

Please don't try to find me, or follow me.

Love,

Alice.'

He read it two, three, four times and still he did not see it.

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'Tell me I've read it wrong,' he thrust the paper at Dr Blake, 'tell me it's not her writing!'

Lucien looked at his friend, there was pain on his face, desperation in his voice, but he couldn't honestly say that it wasn't Alice's writing, because it was.

He sat Matthew down on the couch and went to ask Jean if she could make some tea.

'Alice has gone,' he whispered, 'just left a note, said she was sorry, he is the best, and gone.'

'What?' Jean put the kettle on, 'No!' she hissed, 'why would she do that?'

'God knows, you've seen her lately, any ideas?'

She set a tray and put three cups on it, it would seem her insight was needed.

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'Right, Matthew,' Lucien sat in his chair, 'how has it been, lately, you and Alice?'

'Fine... well I thought it was fine,' he stared into space over his teacup, 'I suppose she's been distracted of late, and I've been busy, you know, with the case.'

'Jean? Have you noticed anything, she pops by occasionally,' Lucien turned to his wife.

'I agree with Matthew, she's been distracted,' Jean paused and thought, 'as if she wanted to tell me something but then thought better of it.'

'She says not to try to find her, but...' Matthew sniffed and wiped tears with the back of his hand, 'bloody hell, Blake, I need her to tell me, face to face. This isn't Alice, she wouldn't do it this way, she'd tell me.'

'Hm...' Lucien thought, it didn't sound like the Alice he knew. 'Work wise, everything ok? I haven't noticed anything in the morgue, maybe a little... a little... her attention has wandered on occasion.'

Jean sat and listened to them discussing Dr Harvey's behaviour over the past few weeks, only half listening, trying to think. She wasn't close to Alice, really, she liked the woman, admired her, even. She had dropped by on occasion, during a case, not usually for a chat and a cuppa, but lately, maybe two or three times. Alice wasn't good with small talk, better at discussing a case than the weather. The last visit, she had mentioned family.

'Family,' Jean sat forward in her chair, 'she mentioned family the last time she visited.'

'But she only has a sister, and she doesn't know where she is.' Matthew grunted.

'Do you think something has happened to her sister, something that means she has to go and see her?' Lucien wondered.

Jean stood up, 'this, gentlemen is not a case for you. Leave it to me, don't ask, and don't push me.'

Lucien and Matthew looked at her then at each other.

'Patience, Matthew, patience,' she smiled and went to kiss his cheek. 'You've been there for us, now it's my turn.'

He looked up at her, what did she know?

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Matthew was terse with his men, short with Lucien; who took no notice; and snapped at anyone who tried to be pleasant to him.

Every time Lucien asked her, Jean would not be drawn. He noticed she scoured the papers, wrote lots of letters and made phone calls she wouldn't tell him about.

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Alice had been gone well over a month, nearer two, when Jean told Lucien she was going away for a couple of days. This rocked him they went away together, they were husband and wife,

'Not this time, darling,' she kissed his cheek, 'but don't worry, I will be back soon. You have to trust me.'

'Alice?'

She just smiled, enigmatically, and kissed him again, before getting into the taxi.

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There was a knock on the door,

'Come,' she snapped, looking up from the papers she was studying. 'Jean!' she gasped, 'how?'

'Dogged determination, something I learnt from my husband,' Jean smiled and went to her. 'Hello, Alice, how are you?' She bent and kissed her cheek.

'I'm, er...' she blushed.

'So I see.' Jean glanced down at her belly, 'that's why you ran.'

'I didn't run,' she huffed, 'I needed to get away.'

'No, you ran.' Jean looked down and frowned as if she were talking to a child. She pulled another chair over and sat down, 'you panicked.'

'I didn't,' Alice realised she sounded like a petulant child, 'I...it would ruin him.'

'Why?'

'This wasn't meant to happen, it shouldn't happen, I'm not supposed...I'm too old..I'm...'

'...scared.' Jean finished for her. 'Matthew's hurt, he thinks he's done something wrong, we are worried about you.' She took her hand. 'You're our friend, Alice, and friends look out for each other.'

Alice sniffed and wiped the tears away with Jean's handkerchief.

'I'm supposed to be hard, know what I'm doing, in charge...'

'...and now you're not.' Jean paused, this was not the Alice she was used to, but it was Alice, scared, out of her depth, 'what were you planning on doing?'

'Adoption, I couldn't contemplate anything else.' She drew herself up, more confident now, 'Matthew need never know.'

'But I know, Alice, and I wouldn't lie to him, nor would Lucien.' Jean looked her square in the eye, 'if it's caring for the baby, then I will help you, Matthew won't be angry, in fact I think he'd be rather pleased.'

'But we're not married.'

'Alice Harvey, since when have you bowed to convention?' Jean tutted, 'really...'

'I...'

'Now, where are you living?'

'In a boarding house, for now, I've been looking for a flat.'

'And this job?'

'Not much, editing papers, mainly.'

Jean shook her head then sat up, 'come home, Alice. If you don't want to move back in with Matthew, yet, we have plenty of room.'

'My work...'

'Resign, Lucien has arranged that your post at the hospital is still open, said you had some family issues to deal with and had to leave in a hurry.'

The truth was Alice wanted someone to come after her and she was rather glad it was Jean. Jean had seen right through her but she hadn't wanted Matthew to see this side of her, the weak side, the side she couldn't control. She had never wanted children, didn't know the first thing about them so when, years ago, after an illness, she had been told she couldn't have children, she supposed she was relieved.

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Over lunch in a small cafe she told Jean how she had tried several times to tell Matthew but found herself stuck for words. The longer it went on the harder it got until the only thing she could think of was to leave.

'All you had to do was sit him down with a large whisky and say the three words; Matthew, I'm pregnant.' Jean patted her hand.

'It sounds so easy when you say it like that,' she sighed.

'At least you're not nineteen and having to confess to your parents,' Jean commented ruefully, 'you and Matthew can make the decisions to suit you, not everybody else, though I warn you, he will probably want to make an honest woman of you,' she smiled.

'I don't want that.' Alice almost snapped, 'sorry, I mean, I don't want him to feel obliged to marry me out of some sense of duty.'

'I don't think it will be out of duty.' Jean hummed, 'he's desperately worried about you, foul tempered with everybody else...'

'Does he know you're looking for me?'

'I told the both of them to leave it to me, I thought it would be easier for you if I came to you. I had a feeling,' Jean told her it was her comment about family that had got her thinking, that and she was distracted.

'So, I gave myself away?'

'In part, yes.'

Jean paid the bill, insisting on it, and they headed to book a room for Jean at a hotel. She sent Alice back to work, to hand in her resignation, using the family excuse, which was now true. They would meet for dinner and pay the final bill on her room at the boarding house.

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'Blake,' Lucien picked up the phone on the first ring, 'Jean,' he smiled.

'Lucien, I've found Alice. She's ok.' Jean sat on the bed in her room, 'I'm bringing her home tomorrow, we should be there mid afternoon. Can you make sure Matthew is there but don't tell him why.'

'What's happened, Jean? Why did she leave?'

'I suppose I'd better tell you, otherwise..' she imagined Lucien's face when he saw his friend and colleague, obviously pregnant. 'Alice is pregnant. She didn't know how to tell Matthew and time went on so she panicked and ran. She's about five months, so, showing.'

'Bloody hell!' he whistled, 'well that's a turn up. You don't want me to tell Matthew?'

'No. We need to leave them alone for a while, in one of the rooms, so they can talk. She may want to stay with us for a while, I don't know, and neither does she, but I am bringing her home.'

'Thank god you found her.' Lucien signed off, promising not to say anything to Matthew, just that she was on the trail and he was not to worry, if he asked.

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Jean looked around the room, it had twin beds, she reasoned that Alice should stay with her that night. Not that she feared she would disappear again, but so they could talk more.

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She waited for Alice outside her office at the university, sitting on a chair feeling like she had been summoned to the head teacher for some misdemeanour.

Shrugging on her coat, Alice turned and satisfied herself that her desk was tidy and no work was left to complete. The university had been sympathetic but sorry to lose her. During the afternoon she had thought about how Jean had come after her, as her friend, what she had been told about Matthew. She'd never had friends like the Blake's before, people who would look for her if she went missing, who would offer their home and their support when she was in need of it, or someone who loved her the way Matthew did. It was all a bit surprising, a nice surprise, even if it was difficult to understand.

'Ready?' Jean stood up and when Alice nodded they headed out and towards the boarding house. On the way Jean told her she may as well use the second bed in her room.

'Afraid I may run away?' Alice asked, but with no bitterness in her voice.

'No, because you know if you do I'll find you again. I just thought we could talk more freely, after dinner,' Jean smiled, 'I want to help you, Alice, if you'll let me,' she added softly.

'I've always had to stand on my own two feet,' they turned into the doorway of her current home, 'certainly since I was twelve, nobody has ever seemed to want to help me.'

'Have you ever let them?' Jean watched her turn the key in her door.

'Probably not, because if they did they may want something in return, something I'm not prepared to give.'

The room was a modest size, with a bed, desk cum dressing table, chair, and wardrobe. She opened the wardrobe and pulled two suitcases out from the bottom. One had skirts and blouses in, Jean supposed they no longer fitted.

'Would you like me to help you pack?' she offered, quietly.

'Thank you, Jean, that would be... kind of you,' even that kind of help was not easy to accept. It saddened Jean to think that she struggled with even the simplest of offers. As they packed Jean noticed how exact Alice was about how she folded her clothes, how she lay them in the case, it was almost a work of art.

'How are you managing for clothes?' Jean asked, 'do you need any help finding suitable things?' She did worry she was possibly pushing a bit too far, but the dress Alice was wearing was becoming tight, once a double breasted button through dress, she appeared to have removed one line of buttons and made it into a shirt style.

'Perhaps,' she admitted shyly.

'We could have a look tomorrow, before we go home.'

'Um...' Alice coloured.

'You won't have to face the gossips in Ballarat.' Jean whispered, 'nobody knows you that well here.'

'I suppose you're right,' Alice sighed, Jean probably was the best person to help her with this particular issue. She did find it a touch embarrassing going into shops looking at maternity wear, at her age.

Alice and Jean took the suitcases down to the office after checking they hadn't missed anything, paid the bill and headed over to the hotel.

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After explaining that Dr Harvey would be staying with her, Jean asked if a porter could carry the cases up stairs, and could they have some tea in the lounge?

Over tea Jean told her what she had said to Lucien over the phone.

'Oh,' she looked shocked, 'I wish you hadn't.'

'It was either that or suffer the expression on his face when you turn up. It's not something you can hide, and especially not from him,' Jean pointed out. 'He's under strict orders not to tell Matthew.'

'Did you say where I am?'

'No, he'd be here now if I did,' Jean grinned, 'but don't be surprised if he whisks you off to the surgery for a full examination; after you and Matthew have spoken.'

'I can't let him do that,' her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, at the thought of her friend and colleague examining her, intimately!

'He's a doctor, Alice, he's able to separate one relationship from the other,' she reminded her, 'and he'd do it even if you weren't pregnant.'

'Can't I go to Dr King?'

'Are you on his list?'

'Er, no, I...'

'Oh Alice,' Jean sighed, 'you can go on Lucien's list, he'll be gentle and non-judgemental, and he can tease Matthew. You won't have to sit in the waiting room with everybody else, I'll schedule your appointments to suit you.'

'Why would you do that?'

'Because you are our friend, and I can see you'd rather not anybody know, which is going to be difficult.' Jean reached over and touched her hand, 'it will be much more discreet and convenient for you.'

'I suppose so.'

'Good, now, I think you should have a nap before dinner,' Jean stood up, 'come on, remember, I've done this before.' She smiled and held out her hand.

Alice felt she was being organised, but part of her was rather glad, she was tired, she was always tired. Perhaps it was time to let someone help her.

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Lucien wasn't sure how he could get Matthew up to the house for the afternoon without telling him Alice was coming home. In the end he just said that Jean would be back and she had some news.

'What news?' Matthew hissed over his desk.

'She wouldn't say, just wants you at the house for when she gets back,' Lucien thought his friend looked more tired as the weeks went on, he was certainly more bad tempered, anyone arrested was safer in Hobart's hands than his. He took his pain out on everybody although when he had had a go at Jean Lucien had dragged him into the study and, in no uncertain words, told him if he spoke to Jean that way again, he would never get the chance to utter another word. He'd apologised, saying he was too worried about Alice to know what he was saying. It was in no way her fault and he promised it would never happen again.

'It's not for the best, Jean,' he'd wept, 'whatever she's done, whatever has happened, her leaving is not for the best.'

'I know, Matthew,' she'd soothed, 'please, I'm working on it, just be patient.'

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Jean and Alice took their luggage to the station and left it in a locker while they went to find the pathologist some suitable clothes that would, not hide her pregnancy, but make it less obvious. Jean wasn't sure what Alice's financial state was, and didn't want to pry, but she had her cheque book with her, and was more than prepared to fund the shopping expedition. Alice could pay her back later, if that's what happened.

The first shop was very much for the younger mother and the dresses full and flouncy, beribboned and frilly, very, 'un-Alice', Jean thought. They thanked the woman in the shop and left,

'I can't wear those,' Alice was horrified.

'I agree,' Jean nodded, 'but that shop looks better.'

Jean explained that as a doctor and a working one, Dr Harvey needed to look professional during her pregnancy. They were shown smart skirts that would grow as she did with swing cut blouses and jackets.

'What about nightwear?' Jean asked when they had selected two skirts, with matching jackets, and several blouses that would go with either. She had noticed that Alice slept in, what appeared to be, one of Matthew's pyjama tops. She obviously had been unable to completely let go.

'I hadn't thought, I usually...'

'I noticed, now, what about..?' she took her over to the nightwear section and pulled out a couple of pretty nightdresses that fastened at the front, short sleeved and not too long. 'These will also be good when you go in to have the baby,' she added in a whisper.

Alice hadn't thought that far ahead, she went a little pale. 'Jean,' she gulped, 'I...'

'I know,' Jean touched her arm, 'don't worry, everything will be fine.'

'I'm a doctor I should know these things,' she was close to tears, tears of frustration and embarrassment. Damn her hormones, at least she knew that was the cause of her emotional state at the moment.

'You're going to be a mother, that doesn't come in a text book, Alice,' Jean selected a light robe to go with the nightdresses, 'now, happy with these, or would you like to look at some others?'

'These will be fine, thank you, for your help and for coming after me.'

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They collected their luggage and purchased a ticket for Alice, and a friendly porter helped them get everything into a compartment. As the train got underway Alice sat staring out of the window, wondering what Matthew would say when he say her, what she should say to him. She was lost in her thoughts when Jean leant forward and tapped her knee.

'Alice, why don't we go next door, to the buffet car, I could do with a cuppa and a sandwich at least, and you must be hungry.' She had noticed she ate well at dinner and again at breakfast, she knew she would eat well that night, but it was lunchtime.

'I could do with the lavatory, too,' she agreed, 'it would seem my baby needs some extra room.'

'You wait,' Jean teased, 'when you're much further on the first thing you look for when you go anywhere is the bathroom,' she stood up, 'come on.'

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Railway fare was... railway fare, but at lease it fill the empty stomachs and the tea wasn't too bad, as Alice said, 'warm and wet.' She noticed people looking at her belly and one or two older women raised any eyebrow when they saw the lack of a ring. Jean noticed it too,

'Take no notice,' she hissed, 'probably spinsters. Let's go back to the compartment and, if I pull down the blinds you could change into one of your new outfits. That dress is...'

'It is, isn't it?' Alice nodded, 'that might be a good idea, and more comfortable.'

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Alice chose a smart navy skirt and jacket, with a spotted blouse underneath. She looked every inch the professional doctor and the pregnancy was hardly noticeable.

'...unless I turn sideways,' she quipped. 'Thank you again, Jean, I really didn't know where to start. All the pregnant women I see are usually wearing the frilly type of dresses, the ones we saw in the first shop.'

'I know, they are a bit much aren't they, unless you're seventeen,' Jean laughed, 'I had to let my dresses out or wear one of Christopher's shirts over a skirt. I couldn't afford new just for pregnancies.'

'I wish I was that good with a needle.'

'I could teach you, if you want.'

Alice pursed her lips, 'maybe a little bit of mending, though I can replace buttons.'

They dozed for a while, until the guard called that the next stop was Ballarat. They gathered their cases and Alice's shopping and stepped out onto the platform.

'We'll get a taxi home, I think,' Jean suggested, 'we can't carry all this.'

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The closer the taxi got to the house the more nervous Alice became. She constantly wrung a handkerchief in her hands and bit her lip. Jean put her hand over hers,

'Everything will be fine, you'll see,' she paid the driver and smiled as Lucien appeared at the door. Alice stood back as he greeted his wife with a kiss and then he looked over at his colleague. He held out his hand and stepped forward,

'Welcome home, Alice,' he said softly, and kissed her cheek. 'You look well. Matthew's in the living room.'

Alice swallowed.

'Go and talk to him, he'll understand.'

'You haven't told him?' her voice trembled.

'No, I wouldn't break that confidence,' he smiled and urged her forward, gently.

'Tea, Lucien,' Jean muttered, 'then I'll see to dinner.'

'Fish and chips will do tonight, love,' he kissed her again, 'you've had a long day.'

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Matthew had his back to her staring out of the window, a tray of tea for the two of them was on the coffee table.

'Hello, Matthew,' she whispered.

He turned slowly and stood looking at her. She looked different, frightened... of him, of what he might say. He held out his hands, 'Alice...' before he had finished uttering her name she was in his arms sobbing,

'Sorry, I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know what to say...'

'Alice, please,' he guided her to the couch, 'what did you need to say?'

She took his hand and placed it on her belly, 'I tried to tell you, but it got later on, and there never seemed to be the right time.'

'You mean..?' his eyes widened as he stared into hers, 'bloody hell!' he breathed.

'I thought you'd be angry, it wasn't supposed to happen,' she searched his face for how he felt, and saw only wonder and love. 'I'm sorry.'

He held her close,

'It's alright, I'm not angry, not in the slightest. I love you, you silly girl, and this, this is a bonus neither of us saw coming,' he leant back to look at her, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, 'we'll be fine, the three of us, together.'

'Are you sure?' she sniffed.

'Of course,' he laughed, 'one day at a time. And with friends like Jean and Lucien, what can go wrong?'

She cuddled close, 'Is that tea still hot?'

'Doubt it,' he kissed the top of her head, 'I'll get some fresh.'

She followed him into the kitchen and watched him boil the kettle and empty the lukewarm tea out of the pot. He turned and smiled,

'I couldn't work out what was different, when you stood there,' he pointed to the living room, 'now I can see it, you look lovely.'

'Flattery, superintendant,' she teased, 'my eyes will be red, as will my nose.'

'You still look lovely,' he smiled.

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Lucien did, indeed, insist on doing a full check up on Alice and declared her fit and well, if possibly a little anaemic, for which he prescribed iron tablets. After fish and chips and more tea Alice agreed to go home with Matthew,

'It where I should be, I think,' she told Jean as Lucien loaded her suitcases and shopping into the car, 'at least I need to try. Matthew deserves that, and, whatever I may have done or thought, I do love him very much.'

'Come over for a chat and a cuppa whenever you want, Alice,' Jean kissed her cheek, 'you are always welcome. If you want any help, you only have to ask.'

'Thank you, Jean.'

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'Do you think they'll be alright?' Jean asked as they lay curled together in bed, after he had made long slow love to her.

'They'll be fine, they have their fairy godmother, Jean, looking after them.'


	2. Chapter 2

Alice looked at the front of the house that, until nearly two months ago, had been home. Now, perhaps, it could be home again. Matthew brought the suitcases, one by one, over to her, and handed her the key.

'That one's yours,' he murmured, 'well it was before...'

'Thank you,' she didn't look at him, just took the key and one of the cases and let herself in.

They moved round each other in an awkward silence. Upstairs she noticed the bed was unmade.

'Er, yeah, sorry,' he pulled the sheets off and threw them in the laundry basket, 'I'll get fresh ones.'

She bit her lip, he'd obviously relied on Jean to take care of him, feed him and do some of his laundry at least. Before she had moved in with him he had taken care of himself, when she was there they did such things together, and then she'd left...

They made the bed together then Matthew said he'd use the spare room,

'Why?'

'Er... well, I ...' he wanted to give her time, not back her into a corner and have her leave again.

'Don't,' she whispered, she'd slept so badly on her own, perhaps she needed him for that, at least.

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He woke to find her curled up by him, one arm flung over his chest and her rounded belly, underneath the fine cotton of the nightdress Jean had picked out for her, against his side. They had started one side of the bed each, but it would appear nature had taken over and she had moved in her sleep to be next to him, just like she always used to. He smiled and gently lifted her hand to kiss the fingers.

'Hmph,' she sniffed and shifted her head to look up.

'Morning,' he whispered, 'sleep well?'

'Yes, thank you,' she pushed herself up, 'did you?'

'Better,' he smiled, 'tea?'

'That would be lovely,' she pushed herself away and sat on the edge of the bed, 'but first...' she reached for the robe Jean had chosen for her and headed to the bathroom.

Tea was taken downstairs if Matthew made it, so she headed to the kitchen where he was busying himself making the drinks.

They sat opposite each other at the table, silently sipping their tea, neither one knowing what to say, it was worse than the morning after they had slept together for the first time.

'I suppose I ought to go to the hospital and tell them I have returned,' she put her cup down, 'get back to work.'

'Could you perhaps do that tomorrow?' he asked, 'I thought we could talk.'

'We should talk, but I need to let them know I'm ready to go back,' she tipped her head, 'are you thinking of taking the day off?'

'Only if you are,' he looked at her, trying to gauge her mood, which had never been easy, 'look what happens when we don't talk, Alice. We need to talk about what you want, what this,' he waved his hand in the general direction of her midriff, 'this means for us.'

'You said you weren't angry,'

'...and I'm not,' he got up and went round to her side of the table, 'I do love you, Alice, very much. I know neither of us expected to be parents, but it would seem nature has other ideas.'

'I don't know anything about children, they just seem to be rather noisy and messy,' she bit her lip.

'You were one, once, so was I,' he smiled.

'But I didn't feel loved,' she sniffed, 'ignored or abused, that was my childhood, how am I going to love this child?'

'Well, I didn't have such a good time either, so at least we know how _not_ to do it,' he kissed her hand and placed it on her belly, covering it with his own. 'I think you have a lot of love to give, you've given me such a lot and between us I think we could give this little one a lot, too.'

'Oh Matthew,' she sighed heavily, 'I'm sorry, I was just so...'

'...scared?'

'Maybe not scared, as such, but... it's not something I ever wanted.'

He gasped.

'No, that's not what I mean, well yes it is,' she hurried on, 'I was told I couldn't have children, maybe that's it...'

'Your way of coping with having the choice taken away, perhaps,' he breathed again, 'now, here you are, here we are.'

'Yes, here we are, completely clueless,' she smiled, then giggled, 'honestly, Matthew I get through university, qualify as a doctor, you work your way through the ranks to Chief Superintendant, and here we are, clueless about raising a child.'

He smiled, then joined in her laughter. They were still laughing when Jean and Lucien knocked on the door, Lucien needed Matthew, there was a body at Susan Tyneman's and she insisted the Chief Superintendant attend. Jean had grabbed a loaf of bread and some butter, remembering that there was unlikely to be any in the house, and gone with him.

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'That's a good sign,' Jean observed, 'at least they aren't screaming at each other.'

'Shame I've got to drag him away,' Lucien mused.

'Mm..' she agreed.

Matthew opened the door, still grinning, 'Mornin',' he stepped aside for them to enter.

'Matthew,' Lucien couldn't help but smile at the cheerful man that greeted him, 'sorry, mate, but we've been called out. They rang me because you have been staying with us.'

'Bugger,' Matthew grumbled, 'well, best get dressed, was hoping to have the day off,' he muttered as he hobbled back to tell Alice they would have to postpone their chat.

'Best laid plans, Matthew,' she looked up from her chair, 'don't worry, I'll go and tell the hospital I'm back, I'll see you later, or in the morgue.'

'Blake...' he turned to the doctor, 'should she be working.'

Alice glared at him, Lucien grinned,

'Of course, she's pregnant, not sick,' he grinned at Alice, 'I'd welcome your help as always, Dr Harvey.'

'I'll get dressed then,' Matthew harrumphed and plodded up the stairs.

'Are you going to take Matthew, Lucien?' Alice stood and took her cup to the sink, 'only neither of us have had any breakfast.'

'Bread, Alice,' Jean smiled holding up the supplies she had brought, 'at least he can have some toast. So can you.'

Jean turned the grill on and sliced some bread for toast while Alice washed the cups they'd used.

Matthew stomped down the stairs and took the piece of buttery toast Jean passed to him,

'Thanks,' he mumbled, then smiled as Alice went up to him and kissed his cheek.

'See you later,' she murmured.

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'Jean,' Alice watched the two men leave, 'when I've been to the hospital would you come with me to get some groceries. Matthew has obviously been eating at yours and, if it wasn't for you bringing the bread...'

'Of course,' Jean smiled, 'why don't you go and get washed and dressed, there's no rush, is there?'

'Not really, I'm sure Lucien can manage on his own for a while,' she smiled, 'unless he's got a new assistant.'

'I assure you, he hasn't,' Jean laughed.

'I'm going to have a quick shower, if you don't mind waiting?'

'Go on, I've nothing planned.'

Jean watched her go and smiled. She wasn't surprised Alice asked her to go shopping with her, she was slowly opening up and was probably a little worried that eyes would be upon her and she had been seen out with Matthew. There was also a chance they would bump into one of the officers. Jean knew what it was like to be the target of gossips and she didn't want Alice to suffer that, she had enough to deal with.

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As she showered and dressed she felt relieved that Jean was able to go with her, into town. It wasn't that she couldn't shop for groceries, she could and did, but she was obviously pregnant, she couldn't hide it, and she was nervous. She knew was being silly, but she'd been rather silly lately and it would seem Jean was the friend she needed.

She dressed in the same skirt and jacket as the previous day with a plain white blouse, applied her usual make up and brushed her hair, now in need of a cut. That was, for her, the only thing wrong with her appearance today, her hair. Perhaps she should go to the hairdresser's as well. She went down, she could smell toast and it was making her mouth water.

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She couldn't help but fiddle with her hair while she ate the toast and drank the tea Jean had made. Jean watched her, seeing the irritation. Alice's hair had a natural wave which had disappeared when she had it cut into the new short style, but it was coming back as the hair grew.

'Alice,' she put her cup down, 'would you like me to do something with your hair, it seems to be bothering you?'

'It needs cutting, it's...'

'...at that awkward stage.' Jean stood up, 'do you have any pins, it will probably go into a French pleat.'

'Yes, I'll get them,' she went back up to the bedroom and found the pins, where she had left them, on the dresser. 'I must have known,' she muttered to herself.

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Hair elegantly swept into a French pleat, Alice took her basket and handbag and joined Jean at the front door.

'We'll have to take the bus,' Alice sighed, 'I sold the car, I don't like driving in cities.'

'Well, when we've finished I can always get our car,' Jean agreed, 'drive you back if you aren't staying at work.'

'Thank you.'

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The bus was relatively quiet, one or two ladies Jean knew nodded and smiled but otherwise nobody took particular notice of the two ladies. They passed the short journey discussing whether or not she should get another car, Matthew wasn't driving because of his knee so she couldn't borrow his.

'Perhaps you should get one between you,' Jean stood up ready to leave the bus, 'you will need one if you are on call...'

'...and I can drive him to work, save Lucien collecting him, or you,' she smiled, thoughtfully.

'Lucien did say if he got an automatic he could drive,' Jean muttered.

'Right,' Alice thought it was a good idea, 'I'll put it to him, but not just yet.'

Jean sensed some hesitation in her friend, some worry about the relationship.

'It will work out, Alice, patience, that's all you need,' Jean squeezed her hand.

'I'm not a very patient person,' Alice whispered, 'I like to know when things will happen.'

'But surely, you have to wait for test results, at work and from the autopsies?' Jean questioned this logic.

'The tests are run for a specific time,' Alice explained, 'I don't have to wait for something to happen, it has to happen in a specific time, or it won't happen at all.'

'Of course,' they strolled in and out of the shops buying what they both needed before heading to the hospital where Jean was going to collect the car and wait for Alice to see the director.

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Alice smoothed down her jacket and patted her hair, then, satisfied she was correctly presented, knocked on the office door.

'Come,' she turned the handle and took a deep breath.

The director was relatively new to the hospital; at least she didn't have to see Malcolm Beaufort; he only knew what he had been told by Dr Blake about Dr Harvey.

'Dr Harvey, nice to meet you at last,' he indicated she sit, 'Dr Blake has told me all about you.'

'Oh, right,' she wasn't quite sure what to make of this, she hoped Lucien had been kind in his assessment of her.

'I believe you've just taken some family time,' he smiled, he wanted to put her at her ease. Rumour had it she was a little... difficult, but he didn't pay much attention to rumour.

'Yes, I needed to get away for a while,' she swallowed, 'I'm ready to come back to work, now.'

'I see,' he steepled his hands on the desk, 'Dr Blake seems to be looking forward to having you back, by his side; he came to see me first thing; but...' he had noticed her 'condition'.

Alice blushed, not sure how to approach this, so she stumbled over her words,

'I ... er... I should be able to work for another three months,' she looked down, 'as long as my GP is happy with my progress.'

'Of course, he would be...?'

'Dr Blake,' she looked up, he raised an eyebrow.

'Well, Dr Harvey,' he smiled a little smile, 'times are changing, and I don't have any problem with you working in your present state. I expect you to be sensible in the activities you undertake, the hospital cannot be responsible for you harming yourself if you are careless, but somehow...' he stood up, 'let's see how it goes, shall we?'

She stood up and shook his extended hand,

'Thank you, sir,' she left, a little hastily, not seeing the smile and the shaking of his head.

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Jean had put all the shopping in the car then wandered round to the director's office to see if she could catch Alice. She was just coming out of the office looking, Jean thought, rather relieved, as she leaned against the wall and exhaled.

'Alright?' she touched her shoulder.

'Hm...? Oh, Jean,' she sighed, 'yes... yes, he's much better than Beaufort,' she smiled.

'Well, Lucien says not to bother today,' they turned to walk towards the morgue, 'the man drowned, fell into the pool. No evidence of foul play.'

'Who was he?'

'A burglar, but it's been raining and it was slippery, they could see his shoe marks on the edge and his tools at the bottom of the pool.' They were at the morgue, 'go in and talk to him, I'll wait to see what you want to do.'

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Lucien looked up and smiled at her as she walked through the door.

'Hello, Alice, everything ok?'

'Yes, I can come back to work,' she smiled, this was where she should be. 'Jean says it's an accident,' she nodded at the body on the slab.

'Yes, nothing to do, except contact his family and send him to be buried,' Lucien nodded, 'silly fool.'

'So it would seem,' she agreed, 'do you want me to stay or...'

'Not unless you have a burning desire to,' he grinned, 'I'm sure there are other things you need to do.'

'Probably, I expect Jean knows what I should be doing, at this stage,' she smiled, 'I think I'll go home and ...' she tipped her head in thought, '... do something.' She shrugged her shoulders and left, telling him to call if anything came up.

He watched her go, she needed to be kept busy, he thought, this situation was so new to her. He wondered when she was going to show herself to the officers. On the way to the Tyneman's that morning Matthew had asked his friend if he should tell anybody, about the baby.

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'God no!' Lucien blurted out, 'that's for Alice, when she's ready.'

'Right,' Matthew stared ahead.

'I know you're rather pleased with yourself, Lawson,' Lucien grinned, 'but Alice is still trying to come to terms with it, that and you aren't married, she's worried about your reputation. She told Jean she thought it would ruin you, and don't consider proposing just because she's expecting, unless you want your head bitten off.'

'We ought to,' Matthew mused, 'it's her reputation too.'

'Sit down and discuss it, make the decision together,' for once Lucien was talking sense, though Matthew thought he was the last one to be dishing out relationship advice. 'Do you want to marry her?'

'I want us to stay together,' he admitted, 'but marriage was not something we'd ever thought of. She'd want to continue working, with or without the baby... which is no bad thing, is it?'

'I can't see Alice as a stay at home mother,' Lucien admitted as they turned into the drive, 'she would have to work for her to have some sense of worth. Not that being a mother isn't an important job, one of the most important, really.'

'She doesn't think she'll be able to love it,' Matthew thought of the conversation they had had that morning, 'because neither of us had good childhoods.'

'So, you know what _not_ to do,' Lucien reached into the car for his bag as Susan came up to them.

'That's what I said,' Matthew heaved himself out of the passenger seat, 'good morning, Mrs Tyneman.'

'Superintendant,' she muttered through gritted teeth. 'When can you get him off my property?'

'When Dr Blake has seen the body and we have had a look round,' he nodded politely.

'Susan,' Lucien nodded at her and headed out to the pool to examine the body and the scene.

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Jean took Alice back to her home and helped her put the groceries away before they sat down and had some tea.

Jean broke the silence,

'What were you two laughing about, this morning? If I'm not prying.'

'No, I was just saying that I could get through university and qualify as a doctor and he could rise through the ranks to be a Chief Superintendant, but neither of us know how to raise a child.' Alice smiled at the memory, 'it all seems rather silly, really.'

'You know, Alice,' Jean put her cup down and looked at her, 'raising children doesn't come with an instruction manual, like your new twin tub, or the vacuum cleaner. They don't have a volume control.'

'Oh, hell,' Alice huffed, 'Jean, what do I do?'

'Take each day as it comes,' Jean said softly, 'there will be good days, bad days, times when you laugh, times when you want to cry, times when you want to walk down the drive and never come back. But you will remember and treasure the good times, and the bad times won't seem that bad, they get overtaken by the good. My boys were always up to no good, getting into scrapes around the farm, cuts and bruises, torn trousers and just when I was at the end of my tether they'd bring me a bunch of wild flowers they had gathered from the fields and hedges and hand them to me with a 'sorry', and somehow I found myself forgiving them. There will be times you don't like what your child does, but I'll bet you will never stop loving him.'

'Perhaps if I'd given my mother bunches of flowers she'd have forgiven me, for being me.' Alice sighed.

'Never apologise for being you, Alice,' Jean reached over and took her hand, 'just be the best you, you can be. You are one of a kind, Matthew loves you, just the way you are.'

'Your boys are so lucky,' Alice swallowed the threatened tears, 'to have a mother like you.'

'Pshaw!' Jean snorted, 'your child will be lucky with parents like you two. I bet he'll be the smartest kid in school.'

'I hope he's not too smart, he won't have any friends, believe me, that was me.'

'But you will support him, show how proud you are of him, of every little achievement, that will make all the difference.'

Alice sighed and stared into space for a few minutes then pushed her chair back.

'I'm hungry,' she sighed, 'shall we have some lunch?'

'An excellent idea,' Jean picked up the cups and took them to the sink.

'I'll just...' Alice indicated the stairs.

'Ok,' Jean started to wash the cups, Alice, she decided, was going to be a wonderful mother.

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Alice and Matthew slowly got back into the rhythm of living together. Working helped, she wasn't trapped in the house all day, they had things to talk about other than the baby, which they only referred to occasionally. Matthew mused he wouldn't be much good at football with him.

'Shall I order a girl then,' she teased.

'She might want to play football,' he laughed.

'True.'

It was some time before she put an appearance in his office. He had agreed to say nothing to the men, and she stayed in the morgue or the hospital laboratories. All the officers knew she was back, the boss was much nicer to be around, things went back to how they were before, but they were surprised not to have seen her.

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'Alice, you can't hide from them forever,' Lucien handed her a set of lungs to weigh. 'If you don't show your face soon you'll have had the baby and it will be an even bigger shock.'

'I know, it's just...' she sighed and noted down the reading off the scales.

'Come up with me, when I deliver this report,' he took a pair of tweezers and extracted a bullet from the heart. 'Got it,' he dropped it into a dish and the clang echoed in the quiet of the morgue, 'looks like a thirty eight, service issue, I'll bet.'

'So, cause of death, bullet to the heart,' she noted, 'murder.'

'Well, not suicide, he was shot through the back,' he tried to joke, 'sorry, yes, murder.'

'Never assume, doctor,' she teased.

'Quite right, Alice, quite right.'

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Alice took a deep breath as Lucien placed his hand on the door handle,

'Let's go and give your beloved the news he has a murder to investigate,' he quipped.

She glared at him, then rubbed her side as the baby gave a swift kick at the mention of its father.

'Footballer?'

'Don't mention that to Matthew,' she whispered, 'it's a sore point.'

'Of course, ballet dancer then,' he smiled, 'Lawson!' he turned in the direction of Matthew's desk, 'sorry, it's murder.'

'Bugger!' Matthew hissed, 'how?' he smiled at Alice but noticed the second glances she got.

Bill stood up and silently pushed his chair over for her, the only comment she got.

'Shot in the back, bullet lodged in his heart,' Blake dropped the report on the desk and sat down, seeing as Alice had taken Bill's chair. 'Must have been from a distance, not close enough to go through. Service issue revolver, thirty eight.'

'Right,' he opened the file and scanned down the report. 'Davies, Hobart, go and see his wife, find out who his friends were, if she knew of anyone who may have a grudge against him. I want to know where he worked and if he had any problems there, or if he caused them.'

'Boss!' they chorused and left the office.

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'Did you know?' Bill hissed as they headed down the stairs.

'About what?' though Charlie knew exactly what he was talking about.

'Her, Dr Harvey,' he glared at him, 'that why she went away?'

'Nothing to do with us, Bill,' Charlie smiled, 'let's just say things are changing. Boss's happy, that's all that matters.'

'Bloody hell!' his companion whistled, 'who'd a thought it?'

'Mmm...' Charlie grinned as they headed off to do what they had been asked to do.

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'Well, we'll leave it to you, Matthew,' Lucien stood up, 'but I'd also look at whether or not he served, and if any of his mates own a service revolver.'

'Right, anything else?' he huffed, 'there was nothing where he was found.'

'Somewhere to hide while taking a shot...'

Matthew opened the file again, ignoring him.

'...he was a good shot.' Lucien offered his hand to Alice and they left.

'See, it wasn't so bad,' he whispered as they headed down the stairs.

'I bet Bill's pumping Charlie for information, though,' she mused, 'still perhaps you're right.'

'You off now?'

'Mmm...' she nodded, 'can't do anything else on this one, and no other work outstanding. Think I'll go and put my feet up.'

He paused and stared,

'What?' she stared back, 'you keep telling me to.'

'Well, yes,' he smiled, 'I just never expected you to follow orders.'

She huffed and left him shaking his head and smiling, not wanting to let him know that she actually liked putting her feet up, just not for too long! Anyway, she had a scientific publication to read.

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So, now everybody knows who should know, how will they go forward. This was not supposed to be a multi-chapter. Dare I apologise?


	3. Chapter 3

'Y'know Blake,' Chief Superintendant Lawson sighed, 'I worry about Alice and Jean sometimes.'

They were sitting in Lucien and Jean's living room, their respective partners having gone to Melbourne for the day.

'Why?' Lucien trusted Jean and knew she had Alice's best interests at heart. 'They've only gone shopping, baby things, I believe.'

'Suppose so, it just seemed so... secret, somehow,' his friend mused.

Bloody hell! Matthew,' Lucien laughed, 'you didn't want to go too, did you? I got the distinct impression from Jean we weren't wanted.'

'Yeah, me too,' he rubbed his knee.

'Your knee bothering you?'

'A bit, but...' Matthew took a breath, 'Blake, I'm not the best advert for a father, am I? Y'know, dodgy knee, not exactly good for playing footie with him, or running round the park.'

'What about cricket? You used to bowl,' Lucien suggested, 'you don't have to run about for that, well, not with a little one.'

'Still need to move,' Matthew huffed.

'Matthew,' Lucien sighed, 'it might be a girl, it might be a boy, all you have to do is love the child, and Alice, whether you can kick a ball or bowl one is immaterial, for the first two years at least. By then he, or she'll, be used to you waving your stick, they'll know what their dad can do; maybe Alice can play football with him.'

Matthew looked at him wide eyed, then burst out laughing at the thought of Alice kicking a ball round the garden.

'Stranger thing have happened.'

'Indeed, indeed,' Matthew murmured, thinking back to two weeks previous...

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'I now pronounce you man and wife,' the Registrar intoned, 'you may kiss the bride.'

'Bit late for that,' thought Matthew, 'we've gone a bit further than kissing,' but they did anyway.

Sneaking off to Melbourne for the weekend with Dr and Mrs Blake as witnesses was his and Alice's way of having a very quiet wedding.

'All it means, sweetheart,' he had whispered, after a long discussion about whether or not they should marry, 'is you will wear a ring, and this,' his lay his hand on her belly, 'will not be bullied at school. You don't need to change your name, you can still be Dr Harvey. It won't change us, I don't expect you to be at my beck and call, mend my shirts and sit knitting of an evening.'

And so they had decided they would become husband and wife, but to them and the Blake's they were just Matthew and Alice, the dearest of friends and colleagues.

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'This is very good of you, Jean,' Alice handed her ticket to the guard, 'I really wouldn't have the first idea where to start.'

'It's my pleasure,' Jean smiled, 'I had second hand, so to shop for a new pram and bassinet is a bit of a treat for me, but,' she insisted, 'we choose what you want, not me.'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up memories,' Alice reddened.

'Don't worry, it was just how it was,' Jean touched her hand, 'I didn't expect anything else, and it was fine. Now, we browse first, then shop, yes?'

'Yes, that would seem the best way to go about it,' Alice leaned back and rubbed her belly.

'Active?'

'Very,' she grinned.

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With stops for tea and food, and bathroom breaks for Alice, it took the two ladies all day to select a pram, baby bath and bassinet, order nappies and gowns, blankets and linen until Alice remarked Matthew would have to do some overtime. Jean enjoyed her day, and she made sure Alice did not find it too overpowering or tiring.

'What about a cot, for when he's outgrown the bassinet?' Jean asked.

'Can't he go into a bed?' Alice looked surprised the baby would need further furniture.

'Not the best idea, but let's have a look, shall we,' Jean linked her arm through Alice's, 'he would roll out of a bed, he needs the sides.'

'Of course, I never thought...'

'Don't worry, it's just something you learn, when you need to learn it,' Jean smiled, 'now, how about in here?'

They found a pretty cot, painted white with a teddy transfer on the end, something for him to look at when he woke, Jean noted.

'So, you can order now, or wait until he's here. The bassinet will last at least two months, maybe three, depending on how fast he grows,' Jean watched Alice run her finger over the edge of the cot, trying to imagine a baby lying there.

'I think, as we're here,' Alice inhaled, 'it might be a good idea to place the order today.'

They discussed it with the vendor and he agreed that would be perfectly acceptable and they gave a date for it to be delivered. Everything, was to be delivered to the Blake's house over the course of the next month, by which time Alice would be eight and a half months pregnant.

'We've decided which bedroom to use and it just needs fresh paper and paint. Matthew has found someone to do that for us,' Alice remarked over another tea and bathroom break. 'We think it will be neutral colours, something that he can grow with.'

Jean smiled, 'I see you refer to the baby as 'he',' she murmured.

'Well, 'it', seems somewhat impersonal,' Alice nodded, 'and he kicks like a footballer, though we don't refer to that sport.'

'Oh, Matthew worried?'

'A bit,' she admitted, 'that he's too old, and with his knee... I'm sure it won't matter.'

'All he needs to do is love him,' Jean reached over and touched her hand, 'that's all they need, well feeding, changing, bathing... but love, that's all.'

'Jean, on the subject,' Alice went pink, 'I know there are classes, baby-care and whatnot, but, I'm... well...'

Jean laughed, '...a doctor and should know what you're doing? Honestly Alice, what are we going to do with you? Alright, when you stop work, I'll give you lessons, nappies, bathing... er...' this was going to be a personal question, 'are you feeding yourself, or bottles?'

'Now that is a question I can answer,' Alice sat back, 'myself, of course. As a doctor I see the benefit to both mother and child, as a working woman I see the benefit to my bank account!' She smiled.

'Good, well, when he's born the midwife will help you at first,' Jean smiled, she remembered the feeling of holding a baby to her breast, the bond it made and the peace while she sat there with one of the boys sucking contentedly, 'then, when you're at home you can get into your own routine.'

'Jean, I really don't know how to thank you, but, will you be his godmother?' Alice had discussed this with Matthew and they had agreed that they would like to offer, at least, this small token. 'I'm Anglican, so it won't be a catholic baptism, Matthew doesn't practice his faith these days...'

'Alice, you don't have to, but, I'd be delighted, honoured, even,' Jean smiled, surprised they would think of a baptism, it didn't seem to be something they would bother with.

'Thank you, I at least know that he will have the best guidance,' she smiled back.

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Alice dozed off on the train and Jean smiled as she watched her newest friend sleeping. There was a peace, a gentleness about her face in repose, she didn't know how lovely she looked like this. Matthew was a lucky man.

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'Got everything?' Matthew asked as they met them at the station.

'I think so,' his wife smiled, a little tired now, 'most of it will be delivered to the Blake's, we have some of the linen, just in case.'

'Ri i i ght,' Matthew mused.

'It's alright, Matthew,' Lucien butted in, 'she's not going to have it right now, just being prepared.'

'Precisely, dear,' Jean grinned, 'now did you remember to turn the oven on for the roast?'

'Indeed I did, my love,' he started the car, 'it should be just as you want it.'

'Right, let's get home, shall we,' she sighed, 'it's been a long day.'

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Alice could honestly say she was glad when she stopped working, but the only person she told was Jean.

'I find standing for a long time, over the table in the morgue, very tiring,' she admitted over tea one afternoon.

'What has Lucien said?' Jean smiled, knowing full well she hadn't told him.

'That I'm fine, everything is going as it should,' she sighed, 'my blood pressure is fine, slightly high but nothing to worry about, and the head is engaged.'

'So, have you packed your hospital bag?'

'Yes, Jean, I've done everything you told me' she smiled, 'thank you for all your help. I'll be glad when I no longer look like a beached whale.'

'You're definitely ready,' Jean laughed, 'I felt like that with mine too. It's the waiting and wondering what it will be, who it will take after.'

'I think I'll be happy that he's alright,' Alice sighed, 'at my age...'

'Everything will be fine, you are healthy, you've had an easy pregnancy, believe me,' Jean reached over and squeezed her hand, 'don't worry... it'll put your blood pressure up.'

Alice smiled and sipped her tea. Afternoons with Jean were relaxing, she had shown her how to bath a baby, using a doll the midwives used for mother and baby lessons; Lucien had 'borrowed' it, but they had another; she had shown her how to fold and put nappies on but had reminded her that a baby in the bath was a bit like catching a bar of soap, and they tended to wriggle when you wanted them to stay still to dress them.

'Don't worry, we won't leave you on your own,' Alice had looked increasingly worried at the prospect of caring for the baby, 'you only have to ask, and I'll help you ... if you want me to.'

'I would like that, Jean,' Alice had been relieved, 'the midwives looked quite fierce, when I went to look round the maternity unit.'

'Well, of course,' Jean laughed, 'they're all single women, they know everything!'

'They did look a bit scandalized when I said I would be working afterwards, not immediately, but that I would return to work,' Alice mused. 'Do you think I'm wrong, not to want to spend all my time at home, with him?'

'No, you are you, and I think you will be the better mother for working,' Jean was sympathetic, 'it's your life, Alice, your family and no one can tell you how to live it or manage it.'

Alice was glad she had Jean's support because she thought Jean would be the one person she would find it hardest to convince. But Jean had worked when the boys were babies, she had to, the farm didn't run itself and Christopher couldn't do everything on his own.

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'Well,' Matthew dusted his hands off, 'that ok for you?'

He and Lucien had put the cot in the baby's room; Alice didn't refer to it as a nursery, that sounded as if she was going to have hoards of children; a nursing chair, a gift from Jean and Lucien, stood near it and the baby bath stood on its stand in the corner.

She turned round from putting the clothes and linen in the chest of drawers, 'yes, I think so,' she nodded. 'I'll make it up when we need to use it.'

The room was bright; they had had the wood panelling at the bottom of the walls painted cream and the upper half had wallpaper with small birds and animals randomly printed over a cream background. She and Jean had found some plain lemon material that Jean had generously made into curtains for the window and a matching cushion for the chair.

The bassinet had been set up in her and Matthew's bedroom, tucked against the wall for now. Alice took a bundle of linen for it and stood for a moment, wondering if she should make it up, she was a week away from her due date, perhaps it would be wise. Matthew would forget while she was in hospital and Jean had told her she had to be prepared from now on.

Mindful of Alice's need to be organised, to have things happen at certain times she had encouraged her to set out a plan of things to do on the days leading up to the birth, but, she did remind her you couldn't rely on a baby to appear on the day it was supposed to .

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Lucien patted his friend on the back and slipped quietly out of the house, to give them some time together, he could see Alice was a little overwhelmed.

'Alice,' Matthew went up behind her and put his arm round her, nibbling at her earlobe, 'are you alright?'

'Hm..?' she hummed, 'yes, I think so,' she stepped so he could see the bassinet, complete with its white linen ready to receive the new member of the family, 'it's all a bit ... strange. Standing here, looking at a bassinet for a baby I never thought I'd have.'

'Or me,' he pulled her to sit on the bed, 'things are going to be so different to what I thought my life would be.'

'And what would that be, Matthew?' she put her head on his shoulder.

'Lonely, grumpy old bachelor,' he mused, 'then you came along and suddenly things seemed a lot better.'

'I've never been told I made things better for someone,' she blinked the tears back.

'Well, ' he winked, 'let's see if I can show you how you make things better.'

'Not my cooking then?' she smirked as he gently lay her down on the bed, on her side.

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Matthew pulled the covers over her sleeping form. At first, she had been reluctant to let him see her naked and pregnant. He had slowly and gently shown her that even pregnant, she was beautiful to him, he would stroke the bump and smile as his offspring kicked his hand, kiss the place and try to identify whether it was a foot, a hand or an elbow. He liked smoothing her body lotion into the skin of her belly, rubbing her tired feet and massaging her aching legs. Anyone who knew Matthew Lawson would be very surprised to see such a tender and sensitive man.

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There was a dull ache in her back and a sudden tightening over her belly. She gasped and waited for it to pass, then continued drying the dishes. She'd had Braxton Hicks contractions over the past few days, but she was now a week overdue so it was only to be expected. She put the dishes in the cupboard and then thought about the other few chores she had to do, before she went down to Lucien's for a check up. She would then spend the rest of the day with Jean before Matthew joined them for dinner. They had finally got round to buying a car he could drive and he felt a lot more comfortable knowing he could take her wherever she needed to go, especially if she went into labour in the middle of the night.

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The walk down to Lucien's was pleasant, the cool, air was refreshing, she was glad he would be a spring baby, she would spend less time inside the house after he was born.

'Alice, morning,' Jean greeted her cheerfully, 'how are you today?'

'Honestly? A bit tired of being pregnant, ready to give birth now,' Alice smiled back.

'Well, you know what I told you...' she smirked, 'they do say it can hasten things.'

'Tried it, several times,' Alice blushed, 'and I walked here,' she added trying to cover her embarrassment.

Jean closed the door behind her and composed herself before telling Alice to head on through to the surgery, Lucien was waiting.

'I'll have some tea ready when you're done,' Jean headed to the kitchen and giggled to herself at the audacity she had to suggest to Alice that making love might be a way to stimulate her body into giving birth; or as she had so delightfully put it, 'Sex, Alice, lots of it.'

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'Alice,' Lucien stood up and smiled, 'how are you?'

'Fat!' she huffed.

'Alright, fed up?'

'A bit, sorry Lucien, I didn't mean to be huffy,' she sighed.

'It's quite alright, my dear,' he indicated she get onto the couch, 'let's have a look at you.'

He examined her, listened to her heart and that of the baby, nodded wisely, which he knew irritated her no end, and finally took her blood pressure.

'Lovely, I can't see you going beyond the end of this week, Alice,' he helped her down, 'if you don't start by then I'll take you in and give him a little bit of a nudge.'

'Induce me, you mean?' she hummed.

'Afraid so,' he placed his hand on his shoulder, 'best for you both.'

'Of course,' Alice sighed, 'perhaps I should do some more walking?'

'You could try, but not on your own,' he agreed, 'now, I expect Jean has put the kettle on, and I could do with a cuppa, how about you?'

'That would be lovely,' they headed to the kitchen. 'I've been having practise contractions,' she told him, 'I should have told you.'

'Glad you did,' he smiled, 'sure they're Braxton Hicks?'

'Yes,' she sat on the chair he pulled out for her, 'they're not regular, one or two, and then that's it. They do hurt but...'

'Right, well...' he sat down, 'keep an eye on them, but that's good.'

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Matthew drove her back from the Blake's, full of Jean's casserole and relaxed from the evening with friends.

'Come on, love,' he held out his hand, 'how about a warm bath, I might even rub your back for you.'

'That sounds lovely,' she smiled, tiredly.

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The warm bath, Matthew's gentle stroking of her back and they wrapping her in a thick, fluffy towel relaxed her even more. He guided her back to the bedroom and helped her into her nightdress, settling her into the bed where she fell asleep almost immediately.

After he had emptied the bath and tidied the bathroom he joined her in the bed and lay behind her, his arm over the rounded cocoon of his child.

She woke twice in the night and stumbled to the bathroom, then back to the bed and into deep slumber.

When he awoke he slipped out of the bed and went to make tea for her. It was early, but not too early for tea and kisses before he got ready for work.

He had learnt that if he made the tea in mugs, and carried them in one hand by the handles he could get upstairs without spilling it all over the carpet. It meant that Alice didn't have to stagger out of bed and drag herself downstairs, now her pregnancy was so advanced.

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She stirred and opened an eye.

'Morning, sweetheart,' he whispered, placing the mug on the cabinet and kissing her forehead. 'Did you get much sleep?'

'Yes, apart from two trips to the bathroom,' she smiled, 'another one needed. 'She rolled out of bed and rubbed her back, groaning at the stiffness. 'I'm too old for this.'

'Never, Alice, never,' he watched her move slowly to the bathroom, and slipped back into his side of the bed.

After cuddling and kissing and sipping tea he asked if she wanted him to stay home for the day.

'No, I'll be fine,' she smiled, 'I'll wander down to Jean later, you can pick me up from there.'

'Sure?'

'Sure,' she leant over and kissed him.

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He left her still in bed, but before he went he asked her again if she wanted him to stay.

'Matthew, I'll be fine,' she smiled, squeezing his hand, 'I have the phone should I need it, I have no signs of being in labour,' she shooed him out of the room, 'now go and apprehend the miscreants of Ballarat.'

'Just...'

'Go!' she threw a pillow at him.

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The bed made, the bathroom cleaned, Alice headed downstairs for some breakfast. She should have eaten earlier but got sidetracked cleaning, not something she was ever going to admit to, and now she was famished. Matthew had left the kitchen tidy so she decided to do some toast, then maybe... she looked in the fridge, bacon; a bacon sandwich would fill the gap that was her stomach. While the bacon grilled she took the milk out for her tea and spotted the eggs... why not? a bacon and egg sandwich, the very thought made her mouth water.

She wiped the last bit of egg yolk off the plate with the last of the bread and sighed,

'That's better,' she hummed to herself, then pushed herself off the chair and set about washing the pots and wondering what else she could do before she went down to Jean. She'd vacuum the living room, it could do with a quick going over and the cushions were a bit flat. Somebody, probably Jean, said that 'nesting' was a sure sign she was near her time, so she felt a little more positive that soon she would be holding her child in her arms.

She put the hoover away then headed upstairs to the bathroom and to tidy herself before going out. It was a fifteen minute walk to Jean and Lucien's even in this state so she reckoned she would be there for lunch, as Jean had suggested the previous day.

Halfway up the stairs she was gripped by a pain, far more intense than those she had previously had. Instinctively she looked at her watch, ready to note the interval, if there was another one. She stood, gasping a little and waited until she felt able to move again.

'Phew!' she slowly carried on up to the bathroom, now more urgent than before. She had used the lavatory, brushed her hair and made sure her make-up was acceptable before the next pain came. She gripped the dressing table and checked her watch again, twelve minutes. If another one came in a similar time then she knew she was in labour. She sat on the bed and took some deep breaths to calm herself, and looked over into the corner where her bag stood waiting. If another pain came, she told herself, she would go downstairs with the bag and ring Lucien. It would not be sensible to attempt to walk down to them, she was unlikely to make the journey between contractions.

She tried to think about what Jean had told her, about the best way to handle the first part of labour. Technically she knew exactly what to do, but that was as a doctor facing a patient, this time she was the patient and while part of her could help herself until Lucien or Jean or Matthew were alerted, the other, larger part of her was not as confident. Jean had said to walk around, to speed things up. Gravity, she said, that was the idea, it sounded good, and Jean had not been wrong, so far.

Downstairs, after another contraction, eleven minutes after the last one, she put her bag by the door and went to make the phone calls: Lucien first, as her doctor, then Matthew, but only after Lucien had examined her and given her an idea how long she was going to be.

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'Dr Blake's surgery,' Jean pulled the diary towards her, thinking it was a patient making an appointment, 'Alice?' She listened, 'right, I'll send him up.' She listened again, 'oh, ok, of course I'll come with him, see you shortly. Keep calm... and breathe.'

She put the receiver on its cradle, 'Lucien! Lucien!'

'You called, Jean,' he appeared in the kitchen, 'problem?'

'Alice is in labour, wants us to go over,' she looked round the kitchen to check everything was turned off, then went to lock the back door.

'Right, I'll get my bag then,' he went to the surgery and they met again at the front door. 'Ready?'

'Ready,' she smiled.

'How far apart are her contractions, did she say?' he asked as he got in the car.

'Ten minutes,' Jean smiled back, 'so she's not imminent, is she?'

'This is Alice, love...' he smirked.

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Alice had a feeling she wasn't going to make the hospital, perhaps they hadn't been Braxton Hicks, after all, but a stop-start labour. She'd always had a high pain threshold and so far was coping even if each contraction stopped her in her tracks. She decided to take her bag back upstairs, give her a reason to be on her feet, so after the next pain she picked it up and headed back up the stairs and placed it by the bassinet. Another pain had her check her watch, eight minutes, they were getting closer. She headed to the bathroom in anticipation of her waters breaking, the floor was easier to clean, and perhaps some towels for the bed. Thinking more like a doctor than an expectant mother made everything seem more acceptable, normal, and for once she was calm.

'Alice!' Jean's voice floated up the stairs, 'Alice!'

'Upstairs!' she called back, Lucien would need to examine her, she'd better get undressed.

'Alice?' Jean was in the doorway, 'are you alright?'

'Strangely, yes,' she turned and smiled, 'I thought I'd better change, perhaps a nightdress, I don't...' she paused and gasped, rubbing her belly with one hand and gripping the towel rail with the other, '... think we're going to make the hospital.'

'I'll get it, bedroom?'

'Back of the door, with my robe,' she nodded.

Lucien had heard everything and, after placing his bag just inside the bedroom, nipped downstairs to boil the kettle to sterilise any instruments he would need, and phone Matthew.

'Matthew, nothing to worry about, but you should come home,' he smiled down the receiver.

'Don't panic, it's just she doesn't think she'll make it to hospital so a home birth. That means you get to hold her hand,' he smirked.

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In the bathroom, Alice had just removed her underwear when her waters went,

'Only you could be that lucky,' Jean laughed, 'I'll clean that up later,' she held out the night gown for her, 'come on, pass me those towels and we'll get you into the bedroom.'

'Jean, I...'

'...will be busy.'

Alice blushed but let Jean lead her into the bedroom and settle her on the bed.

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Lucien looked at her, so calm, Jean arranging a sheet over her loosely, ready for him to examine her. He supposed it was Jean that kept her calm, talking to her, saying that if she wanted she would stay with her, hold her hand.

'I'd like that, Jean,' she nodded, 'and, if my doctor will allow it, and he gets here in time, I'd like Matthew to be here, too.'

'That is your prerogative,' he advanced towards the bed, 'he's on his way. But first, may I examine you, I'd like to see how dilated you are.'

'Of course,' she winced, 'but after that, may I wander round the room again, I feel more comfortable that way?'

'Whatever makes you happy, Alice,' he agreed.

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Matthew burst through the front door and hobbled as fast as he could up the stairs, ignoring the pain from his knee.

'Alice! Alice!' he arrived at the bedroom door just as Lucien replaced the sheet over Alice, and declared her just about fully dilated.

'Hello, Matthew,' she tried to smile as another contraction hit her, 'seems I can't do anything normal.'

'Bugger that, I was born at home,' he gasped, 'are you alright?'

'Well, that's a question of what constitutes 'alright' just at the moment. Dr Blake says everything is progressing normally,' she held out her hand, 'now help me up, I want to wander round the room,' she saw the puzzled look on his face, 'come on, Lucien is happy about it, and it seems to be working.'

'Take your jacket off, Matthew,' Jean suggested, 'those buttons won't be comfortable for her to lean on.'

He turned, he hadn't registered her presence, then did as asked.

'Jean,' Lucien helped steady his friend against her husband, 'could you drop the instruments in the boiling water and bring the bowl up, please. Then, there is a gown in my bag, if you wouldn't mind putting it on, I'd like you to assist.'

'Yes, doctor,' she headed downstairs with a small smile on her lips.

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Alice swayed against a rather perplexed Matthew, he thought women had to lie in bed to give birth, but Lucien assured him that in other countries they stood, or squatted it was only the so called 'civilised world', that made women lie down, and strapped their legs up, Alice was doing what her body told her to do.

Matthew felt her finger tips dig into his shoulders as another wave of pain swept round her middle, and she groaned.

'Alice?' he looked down, trying to see her face.

'It's fine, Matthew,' she murmured, 'not long now,' she knew it hadn't been a long labour, she was lucky, she supposed, but it was still tiring.

Another contraction and she felt the overwhelming urge to push, 'Lucien...' she gasped.

'Bed or standing?' was all he asked, holding her shoulders.

'Bed, my legs are tired.'

He and Matthew helped her onto the bed with Matthew sitting behind her, her hands holding his across her chest. Jean stood ready to pass the doctor whatever he needed.

'Right, Alice,' he smiled, 'whenever you're ready, but I'd suggest on the next contraction.'

'You've done so well, up to now,' Jean smiled, gently, 'squeeze Matthew's hands, it helps.'

A contraction, she pushed, squeezing Matthew's hands so he grunted at the force, she panted and lay her head back on his chest.

'Well done, I can see the crown,' Lucien turned to see Jean holding the bowl, and nodded to the corner of the bed, 'a towel, for the baby, Jean,' he whispered.

She stood ready as Alice pushed again, the head was born, Jean noticed that, at least, looked perfect.

'Another push,' Lucien rotated the shoulders, 'and he'll be here.'

Alice smirked, it would serve them all right if it was a girl, though they did not have a name for a girl. She grunted, took a deep breath and pushed for all her might, a cry rent the air and Matthew and Alice became parents, at last.

'A boy, you have a son,' Lucien's eyes twinkle with tears as he offered the honour of cutting the cord to his oldest friend.

Jean smiled as he passed the baby to her, to be wrapped in the warm towel and have his face wiped. She mused on the idea the it wasn't a parent that had the first hold of a new baby, but the midwife.

'He's beautiful, a good size, too,' she took him to the bathroom for a quick wipe down, before returning and passing him to his mother, 'well done, Alice, and, congratulations.'

Matthew just stared, open mouthed, at the bundle in Alice's arms, 'Bloody hell,' he finally breathed.

'Language, Matthew,' Alice teased.

'Now, Alice,' Lucien smiled, 'I just need to check everything's ok, then Jean will help you tidy up and wash.'

Matthew sat in the nursing chair terrified he would hold the baby too tight, and staring in awe and him. This had to be a dream, didn't it?

'Matthew, Matthew...' Jean touched his shoulder, 'go and sit with Alice while I wash him and have him weighed, then I'll bring him back through.'

'Uh, yeah, sure,' he looked at her smiling gently at him and let her take the baby off him.

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'Seven and a half pounds,' Jean noted on the forms, 'a good weight.'

'And perfect,' Lucien added, 'everything he should have and nothing he shouldn't.'

Jean took him and washed him properly in the baby bath, before dressing him in a nappy and baby gown. She wrapped him in a blanket and carried him back to his parents.

'Here you are Alice,' Jean lay her in the mother's arms, 'seven and a half pounds, and looking for his first meal.'

The baby had instinctively turned to Jean's breast as she carried him in, 'I'll leave you to have a go first, call me if you want me, I'll be tidying the bathroom.'

Jean left and Alice undid the few buttons on her nightdress, baby Lawson knew exactly what he was doing, Alice smiled, 'just like his father,' she murmured, finding it an unusual but not unpleasant sensation.

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The bathroom cleaned and no call for her assistance Jean went down to the kitchen to find Lucien had put away his instruments, and was making tea. Jean took off her gown and put her arms round him.

'Alright, love?' he asked, wondering more and more over the last few months if Jean was feeling a little disappointed they hadn't produced their own child. They had asked about adoption but their ages were against them. Fostering had been suggested, but Jean wasn't sure she could hand a child back, so, for now, they didn't talk about it.

'Yes, why shouldn't I be?' she smiled and tiptoed up to kiss him.

'I just thought, maybe,' he didn't quite know how to phrase it without upsetting her.

'That I would be thinking it should have been me?' Jean was not jealous of Alice, in fact she was very pleased for her, 'it would be nice, but we've both had a go at being parents, whether or not we were any good is beside the point, it's their turn.'

He had often remarked to himself that she was a very generous woman, and this proved it, but deep down... a child that was part him and part her, would be a wonderful thing.

'We can still have fun trying, though,' he kissed her thoroughly.

'I'll hold you to that,' she smirked, 'now, weren't you making tea? I expect Alice would love a cup, and Matthew.'

I suppose my new midwife would like one too,' he smiled and kissed her forehead. 'In fact, how do you feel about helping with home births I get called to?'

'Really?'

'Yes, really,' he set the teapot down, 'everything was calm. you knew exactly what to do, you kept Alice relaxed, you used common sense and personal knowledge to ensure everything went smoothly. I expected to have to put my foot down with her, order her about, but, no, and it was all down to you, her trust in you.'

Jean blushed, she hadn't really given it much thought. There was no use panicking, she had both her boys at home, she just did what had to be done.

'Well, if you think I can do it, I suppose we could try it.'

'Good, now, the celebratory cuppa is ready so...' he nodded towards the stairs, 'do you think Alice will let me take him out to wet the baby's head one evening?'

'You and the rest of the force,' Jean knocked on the bedroom door and waited to be admitted, 'you can ask her.'

'Oh, lovely, I'm parched,' Alice smiled, she was still cradling her son but he appeared to be satisfied, for now.

'Alice, do you have a name for him,' Jean poured the tea.

'Matthew Peter, though we'll call him Peter,' she passed him to his father and took the tea, 'two Matthews could be confusing, don't you think?'

'Indeed, and that sounds lovely, Matthew Peter Lawson,' Jean repeated the name.

'Harvey-Lawson,' Matthew corrected her, 'he has his mother's name too, she did all the hard work.'

'A proud name,' Lucien nodded, 'and just right, too.'

Jean took Peter and placed him in the bassinet so Matthew could have his tea. He said he was going to take a week's leave, help Alice where he could, cooking and such like.

'Would you like me to show you how to do his nappies, Matthew?' Jean asked, with an innocent look on her face.

'Er...'

'What a good idea, Jean,' Alice laughed, 'now, why didn't I think of that?'

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We'll leave the Lawson family there, I expect young Peter will have an interesting upbringing but will be loved.

Reviews and comments more than welcome. Thank you to all those who have taken the time to read this story and to those who have kindly left reviews.


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